Everything's Funny To Someone.
|
|
| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
|
|
Friday, February 27, 2004 Good Adverse So an Australian researcher with the poetically ironic name of Del Mar advises against drowning your cold with fluids. I'm just getting over a cold now, and I can tell you that nothing makes you feel better when you're sick than some marble fudge ice cream drenched in caramel syrup. Mmmm..... posted by ben | 9:59 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, February 24, 2004 News of the Day Much has been said about this issue today, and this is just perplexing, but I'll avoid talking nonsense about all that, and instead applaud the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art for expanding their floorspace to exhibit pieces previously held in storage. posted by ben | 3:13 PM | (0) comments Thursday, February 19, 2004 GM asks dealers to stop selling the Aveo If only they'd do the same for the Hummer. posted by ben | 9:40 AM | (0) comments From today's slow news department: Sick, frail old people who insist on driving tend to die when they get into accidents. posted by ben | 9:02 AM | (0) comments Thursday, February 12, 2004 This makes perfect sense. Oh yeah, right back atcha! posted by ben | 3:07 PM | (0) comments Trouble Down at the Ol' Factory There's this peculiar odor which seems to be following me around. I ask people about it and they swear I don't smell horrid. I take some comfort in that, but then again my friends might just be trying to be nice in between bouts of covering their noses and holding their breath. Either way, I can smell it, and it's really starting to get under my goat. posted by ben | 1:40 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, February 11, 2004 Overheard "Hey, Chantenaiya. It's not your number I have in my cell phone. It's the other Chantenaiya." What are the odds? posted by ben | 1:30 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, February 10, 2004 I'm Looking Out For Me, That's Who So Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly apologized for saying he believed the Bush Administrations pre-war claims of Iraq's massive WMD stockpile. I almost bought it, then I read this: While critical of President Bush, O'Reilly said he did not think the president intentionally lied. Rather, O'Reilly blamed CIA Director George Tenet, who was appointed by former President Bill Clinton. That's right, Bill, blame the left again. You're still a punk ass bitch. posted by ben | 12:42 PM | (0) comments Boobygate, part 2 So, the lawsuit - prompting television broadcasters and regulators to clean up their act - wasn't exactly laughed out of court, but it is being withdrawn. However, there is this curious paragraph: The notice said Carlin's law firm, Ritchie, Fels and Dillard, which was handling the case for free, was flooded with calls and mail from parents in nearly every state. It also said that she recognized that damages, had they been awarded, were likely to have been nominal given the number of potential victims -- perhaps amounting to no more than the price of a month's cable TV subscription per person. [emphasis mine, obviously] That sounds like a good idea. These millions of children, scarred for life by seeing a naked boobie, are awarded with a month of free cable. Yay for the system! posted by ben | 12:19 PM | (0) comments Monday, February 09, 2004 Antibacterial and Uncle Joe Yet more proof that raising a child in a completely sterile environment may be detrimental to his/her/its ultimate health later on in life. George Carlin says that he and his friends didn't get Polio because they swam in the raw sewage that is the Hudson River. While I'm likely to follow his line of thinking, I'm not so quick to just start throwing kids into open sewers. Their parents might be watching. posted by ben | 2:39 PM | (0) comments Special Kind of Dumb The parking lot I sometimes patronize if I drive to work is basically just a long stretch of pavement beside an old warehouse, across the street from one of the stadiums. During a Mariner or Seahawk game, I wouldn't be surprised if they charged $30 to $40. In the off season, however, it's the cheapest piece of pavement around for only three dollars. A co-worker once had his vehicle stolen from this "lot", but I still park there, doubtful that anybody will waste their time trying to liberate the goose. The pay box is one of those old school metal units with slots for your impossibly folded dollar bill, with a slightly longer, thinner one adjacent to it for coins. Today, a large Toyota 4-Runner was parked in stall number one, blocking my view of the pay box upon approach. As I rounded the rear bumper of the Runner, I came upon a kid probably in his mid twenties, holding a gatorade bottle of water and a straw standing in front of the pay box. He didn't notice me as he sucked in water from the bottle and released it into one slots. Attempting, I'm assuming, to float the dollar bills out. I just stood there watching this futile attempt for some slow cash. He got two strawfulls worth in the pay box before he noticed me. "Oh, excuse me," he said, and backed away. I stared at him suspiciously. He walked around me, our eyes locked, neither wanting to be the first to look away. He got a few steps away and said innocently, "What?" I said nothing, though I wanted to say, "You know, that's not gonna work," but I didn't really want to engage him in conversation. I also didn't want him to see where I was parked. He eventually turned around and started walking down Fourth. When he was about a block away, I started folding my dollars and shoving them into the slot for stall 24. I laughed at his special kind of dumb, because I was the last car in but he was attempting to float out money from stall 33. posted by ben | 10:01 AM | (0) comments Sunday, February 08, 2004 She's Left Home Thematic cover bands are weird anyway, but I just can't get behind a fake Beatles band when the one playing Paul isn't left handed. posted by ben | 10:26 AM | (0) comments Duck Duck goose I know it's my car now. I've had it for a little less than a year. But there are still times when I'll catch sight of it in my driveway and my first thought is, "crap, mom's home." posted by ben | 10:14 AM | (0) comments Friday, February 06, 2004 Is it possible that we will have a Kerry/Dean ticket come November? posted by ben | 5:27 PM | (0) comments The Meat of the Matter This will just allow more time for swimsuits and crushing rejection. posted by ben | 5:21 PM | (0) comments My copy paper is wrapped in paper. posted by ben | 11:06 AM | (0) comments Thursday, February 05, 2004 Super Bowl Movement I'll admit that the halftime show was no artistic achievement by any means, but isn't this taking it a bit too far? I want to hope that this gets "laughed out of court", but this whole "boobgate" issue is gaining so much steam it's hard to know if it'll stop. Yet another reason for the rest of the world to laugh at us. posted by ben | 12:30 PM | (0) comments Joke You Are Last night on Letterman they did a skit about that "annoying guy who thinks he's clever". One of the bits was in an elevator, and after it stops on each floor the annoying guy says, "Must be the local!" And I thought that was funny. Then I became frightened. Wait! Am I that guy? posted by ben | 10:04 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, February 04, 2004 I did. You should too. posted by ben | 4:46 PM | (0) comments Holy Crap Washington State Supreme Court Justice Faith Ireland can beat you up. posted by ben | 2:17 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, February 03, 2004 It's A Mini World If I were to get a new BMW Mini instead of lusting after an older one, I'd get this one. posted by ben | 4:23 PM | (0) comments Today's date: 2-3-4. I dig that too. posted by ben | 10:35 AM | (0) comments Hooray For Jamie Hook From an article in the Seattle Times about how Lucky Strike cigarettes are practicing "guerrila advertising" by being low-key in their sponsoring of local arts events: "Maybe you can say shame on those who take cigarette money, but that's both unsympathetic and disingenuous," [Jamie Hook] said. "Far better to say shame on the whole damn country for not sticking up for the National Endowment for the Arts, for not making arts funding a priority. Meager public funding of art is the real disgrace. Write about that, and you'll be writing about something important." And while I'm thinking about it, shame on Matthew R., who said he switched to Lucky's because "they're toasted". Come on! Lucky's provided one third of your annual budget and you're smoking them because of the taste?! posted by ben | 9:58 AM | (0) comments Sunday, February 01, 2004 bret: What do we got in the way of doughnuts? me: I don't know, but whatever it is, it better move. posted by ben | 10:58 PM | (0) comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
||||
|
|||||