Everything's Funny To Someone.
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Tuesday, September 30, 2003 Who Is This Guy? Today on the bus I was reading D.H. Lawrence while listening to the "Concerto for Violin and Orchestra in D Major" by Peter Tchaikovsky on my iPod. Later I had a martini with my dinner while watching the Discovery channel, still wearing my work clothes. I'm such a poser. posted by ben | 9:21 PM | (0) comments co-worker: Your shoe's untied. You're going to fall down and break your leg. me: Well, at least then I'll be able to take time off of work and not worry about all of this stuff. co-worker: Hey, when I broke my leg I only took two...TWO days off. And I was on drugs and sleeping the entire time. me: Hell, you've just described my weekend. [pause] Kidding. I didn't sleep that much. posted by ben | 3:36 PM | (0) comments Hastily scrawled in the notebook during dinner last night: "The two lime slices floated in the glass of beer resembling Roy Lichtenstein's gangrenous vocal cords." posted by ben | 9:42 AM | (0) comments Add another item to my Christmas list. posted by ben | 9:41 AM | (0) comments Serpentine Belt I'm not really a big fan of snakes, but I can't help but feel sorry for this guy. And I'm talking about the snake, not the car owner. (disturbing pic, so be warned...) posted by ben | 9:33 AM | (0) comments Friday, September 26, 2003 Friday Malaise I've got things here at work I could do, but you know what? They can all wait until Monday. I'm done. posted by ben | 4:04 PM | (0) comments Thursday, September 25, 2003 Paint Your Own Allegory The Milky Way galaxy cannibalizes neighbor galaxy Sagittarius Taurus nowhere to be found. posted by ben | 1:40 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, September 23, 2003 Inspired by Fark: Scientists invent smart sofa. Still no cure for cancer. posted by ben | 4:06 PM | (0) comments Monday, September 22, 2003 To wherever my Vespa key went: Please come home. I miss you. posted by ben | 10:35 AM | (0) comments Saturday, September 20, 2003 Because I'm sick, I haven't had any caffeine since Tuesday. How do I do this, you might ask? I'm a superhero. posted by ben | 1:40 AM | (0) comments Friday, September 19, 2003 We've known about Isabel for a week. Why are people still dying? posted by ben | 2:02 PM | (0) comments Monday, September 15, 2003 If there's one good thing about surviving a massive layoff (apart from still having a job, that is), it's that there are TONS of extra office supplies. I just about squealed with glee when I saw about a foot-and-a-half tall stack of clear sheet protectors. posted by ben | 1:55 PM | (0) comments Fork on the Chalkboard I hate the phrase "defense mechanism", as in "Comedy is my defense mechanism." posted by ben | 11:24 AM | (0) comments Friday, September 12, 2003 Cash Out 
I've had this up on my home office wall for about three months, right next to the picture of the taxidermied rabbit with three foot ears. posted by ben | 5:03 PM | (0) comments Thursday, September 11, 2003 Wool News Tonight Nevermind terrorists. What we need to do is keep an eye on those pesky journalists. posted by ben | 10:30 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, September 10, 2003 Sheep Boy Here's a little discussion about whether or not I "slipped up" on my line in 10 Things... posted by ben | 4:27 PM | (0) comments Black and Baloo Got a kick out of the black bear on a trampoline footage. I was going to try to make a joke, but just watch the mpg. That's all you need to see. posted by ben | 1:04 PM | (0) comments Are You A Cockney? Saw Revenger's Tragedy at the Grand Illusion last night. The Grand Illusion, for those not in Seattle, is what someone might call an "art house". Waiting for my friends to show up, I read that director Alex Cox and star Eddie Izzard (who was in town anyway performing his stand-up act) were going to be at the show last weekend. D'oh! Wouldn't have been able to make it anyway, so I'm not kicking myself too hard. Anyway, the print that the Grand Illusion showed was one that was hand delivered by Mr. Cox himself, which just happened to have French subtitles. It was groovy, because it's an English language film. I almost felt as if I were an illiterate Frenchman, because I couldn't read the captions, but I understood everything they said. posted by ben | 9:50 AM | (0) comments Monday, September 08, 2003 A Small One Hey Congress. If you give Bush the $87,000,000,000 he's going to ask you for, can I make one small request of my own? I'd like $3.45 for a double vanilla latte. I'm kind of tired right now, but I don't have any money. C'mon. Be a pal, Congress. I'll be your best friend... posted by ben | 3:18 PM | (0) comments Friday, September 05, 2003 Interesting Tidbit For Today "Eleven plus two" is an anagram of "twelve plus one". How cool is that? posted by ben | 1:08 PM | (0) comments Monday, September 01, 2003 On the plus side, since I am now on-line at home, I'm not watching as much television. posted by ben | 9:28 PM | (0) comments |
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