Everything's Funny To Someone.
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| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
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Tuesday, December 30, 2003 I just watched the same episode of "The Simpson's" three times. One just straight up regular episode, one with the audio commentary, and one with the "Pop-up Simpson's" feature turned on. I love DVDs. posted by ben | 3:01 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, December 24, 2003 Happy Mad Cow Day! Or is it "Merry Mad Cow Day"? I can never remember. posted by ben | 11:20 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, December 23, 2003 Radio Killed The Radio Star On the Fourth of July weekend, while I was painting my room, I listened to 107.7 fm because they were having a "greatest hits of the 90's" weekend, playing songs I blasted out of my car radio in high school. Normally I don't listen to this particular station because I'm not so much into the Corn or Limp Bisquick or whatever the hell it is they play now. However, they're doing a marvelous thing and re-instituting the 90's grunge/alt-rock format I love so much. I may have to reprogram it into my car's speed dial and race down Lacey's Sleater-Kinney road again, for old time's sake. posted by ben | 11:40 AM | (0) comments Sort Of Bitter At the large coffee chain yesterday with Sonya and I point out a bag of "Holiday Roast" coffee and say someting lame about how it tastes. She one-upped me, though. "That coffee tastes like guilt." I'm still mad at her for being funnier than me. posted by ben | 11:17 AM | (0) comments Monday, December 22, 2003 From the Forward Pass dept. Joe Namath: Hall of Fame quarterback, drunk lonely robot. posted by ben | 3:43 PM | (0) comments Friday, December 19, 2003 It's nice when I find someone at work who laughs at all my jokes, even the not-so-funny ones. But it's also a little creepy. posted by ben | 2:08 PM | (0) comments co-worker: My father has a music studio, and he uses an ancient Mac running, get this, OS 7! me: What kind of music does he produce? Classical? posted by ben | 2:06 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, December 17, 2003 I buy stamps individually on an as-needed basis. posted by ben | 4:41 PM | (0) comments Monday, December 15, 2003 Monday Morning Elevator It's crowded. The doors open on the fifth floor and a man with a ladder gets on. man w/ ladder: Hey guys. Me and my friend here are just gonna ride up one floor. me: Does your friend here have a name? Silence. The doors open on the sixth floor and the ladder man gets off. Not a word is spoken at all for the rest of the ride. I think if you're crazy enough to personify your hardware at 8:30am on a Monday, you should be prepared for a little back and forth, and not make me look like the weird one. posted by ben | 11:53 AM | (0) comments Thursday, December 11, 2003 Rather Plane This is the kind of geek I am. I know that the giant 747 flying into Sea-Tac from the north - just overhead - at around four PM is British Airways flight 49 from London-Heathrow. I also know that today, my boss is on that flight. posted by ben | 4:00 PM | (0) comments That's Just Wrong My groceries were on the conveyer belt. The last item, a package of ground beef butting up against the little plastic divider, telling the cashier that these items are mine and those are not. The woman behind me had in tow a fidgety little boy of about four or five. I pretended to ignore him looking over my things, knowing he wasn't quite aware of the social construct as the little plastic grocery divider. Sure, I've not purchased these items yet, but I picked them out and went through the effort of bringing them here, so in a sense they are mine already. Currency changing hands is just a formality. Still I ignored him, though, as he pressed his finger into the cellophane covering the raw ground beef. I looked over to the electronics section, pretending to ogle the 10" TV/VCR combo on sale for only $79.95, while his tiny fingers pressed further and further into the cellophane, testing its durability. The cashier continued to pass my items over the barcode scanner, and as the conveyer belt inched closer to the steel jaws of the plastic bag holder, the child kept pace, now pressing two fingers into the package. My cheeks flushed hot. I tilted my fedora down over my eyes and pressed my lips together. I passed my debit card between my fingers, making it disappear and reappear to anyone watching from the U-Scan aisle. "Find everything alright?" asked the cashier. "Mm-hm," I mumbled. I looked at the kid out of the corner of my eye and saw him press all five little dirty fingers into the pink lump, seemingly to grab a handful of raw meat and hold it up in a show of victory. I was going to say something just then, but couldn't decide what. I looked over to the mother, who was examining the Soap Digest. No help at all, she was. I figured the best way to go would be a pleasant warning of the unsanitary nature in case the package ruptured, as opposed to a blatant show of possession. The cashier pulled the meat package from the conveyer belt, scanned it, and dropped it into the bag and totalled up my purchases. The kid then became interested in touching his mother's bum, and as I walked out I heard mom repeat a few times, "Billy, don't do that!" Walking the cart to the car, I blurted out, "Hey kid, stop touching my meat," and didn't stop laughing until I had pulled out of the parking lot onto Leary Way. posted by ben | 1:42 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, December 10, 2003 Does This Mean My Rates Will Go Up? Cable giant Comcast has purchased the naming rights to the Tacoma Dome. Key Arena is now "The Key." Safeco Field is now "The Safe". Will this now make the Tacoma Dome "The Com"? Let's hope that this doesn't change the management. I'd hate to show up Friday for a Britney Spears show, only to be told that she couldn't make it and if I was available next Tuesday for her concert. posted by ben | 1:04 PM | (0) comments Whatever happened to the ditto machines? They've all been replaced by giant copiers. posted by ben | 12:26 PM | (0) comments Monday, December 08, 2003 The Osbourne Identity Jesus. Who else is tired of hearing about Ozzy? I have to sheepishly admit that I ordered The Osbournes first season DVD online about six to nine months ago (maybe longer, this year has really been lead-footed). I would have purchased it in the stores, but I didn't want anybody to know I was buying it. I think I watched about five episodes. posted by ben | 4:25 PM | (0) comments Serendipity doo-dah I needed to buy two stamps. I had exactly $0.74 in my pocket. I love that. posted by ben | 1:01 PM | (0) comments Thursday, December 04, 2003 Gathers No MSN Keith Richards rips Jagger over Knighthood. I don't know. Keith's arguement about maintaining the Rolling Stones' anti-establishment image pretty much became null and void when they sold "Start Me Up" to Microsoft. posted by ben | 2:49 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, December 03, 2003 Complaint I don't want to pay bills. I don't want to balance the checkbook. I don't want to be responsible for anything. I just want to play and do things my way. This week off of work has spoiled me rotten and I find that I'm proud of myself just for washing before I leave the house. posted by ben | 2:24 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, December 02, 2003 Geek Dream I had a Violent Femmes album - 4 CDs worth of songs - and started feeding them to the powerbook so iTunes could import the AAC goodness. When all that was done, I went into the filemanager and deleted the duplicate songs (because I already have a VF CD in there, of course). I got a little nervous because these 4 CDs took up 17 GB of memory and wouldn't fit into the iPod. posted by ben | 12:32 PM | (0) comments |
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