Everything's Funny To Someone.
|
|
| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
|
|
Wednesday, November 26, 2003 I was listening to the radio the other day and "Angry Inch" came on, from the Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack. Something didn't sound right, however, so I cocked my head like a puppy hearing a loud whistle to get a better listen. "Huh," I thought, "that sounds like Fred Schneider of the B-52's fame. The backups don't sound like Kate or Cindy, but that's definitely Fred." Turns out I was right, it was Fred singing about his angry inch. And it was kind of creepy. The backing band and vocals were Sleater-Kinney, a popular all female punk band and coincidentally the name of the road my high school was on. posted by ben | 3:34 PM | (0) comments Racism As A Disease Local woman protests her granddaughter's assignment to read Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn because of racial insensitivities and the prolific use of the "notorious n-word". First off, I'd like to know if the grandmother has actually read Huck Finn herself. Secondly, (and here's where the simile part kicks in) if you live in a completely sanitary environment, when you are infected with some sort of virus, it's just gonna knock you on your ass. posted by ben | 10:00 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, November 25, 2003 Without Lamps, There'd Be No Light Principle at Kennewick High School teaches students lesson in censorship by cancelling school play and demanding to review all future play submissions by the Drama Department. posted by ben | 3:08 PM | (0) comments Monday, November 24, 2003 I'm The New Fool In Town This year, I'm crossing my fingers the most in hopes that I get the Digital Underground CD with "The Humpty Dance" on it. Ah, to be in 8th grade again. posted by ben | 4:36 PM | (0) comments Thursday, November 20, 2003 He's Bad Michael Jackson feels he's been wrongly accused regarding allegations of child molestation. I'd put my milk money on the fact that Mr. Jackson's perception of reality isn't quite the same as yours or mine. update! Jacko's a scary clown! posted by ben | 9:57 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, November 19, 2003 Old School You never see guys carry giant boom boxes on their shoulders these days. Although if you wanted to bring that fad back, be my guest. Otherwise, you could just get the Studio Backpack. posted by ben | 11:13 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, November 18, 2003 Insensitive Prick, Line 1 Funny how you see some of the nicest cars out front of the welfare office. posted by ben | 10:25 PM | (0) comments Whenever it's cold, windy, and rainy, I always recall fondly family camping vacations. posted by ben | 12:57 PM | (0) comments Comes Tumblin' Down I can understand wanting to live close to nature, but when a couple of northwest rivers routinely flood their banks at the slightest hint of rain, then I say it's time to move somewhere else. Screw pride. If you wanna keep Gramma's antique davenport in good condition, don't allow it to be submerged in your livingroom. posted by ben | 11:54 AM | (0) comments Monday, November 17, 2003 Word In a recent e-mail, a vendor wrote, "It is, as you say, 'Excellant!'" A of all, I had no idea I've been misspelling the word over the phone, but I'll just chalk that up to my Canadian dialect. B of all, I wasn't aware that I say "excellent" all the time. I guess I do. Far be it from me to get into a rut, though, so to keep people guessing, I'm going to be alternating my bon mot on a weekly basis. This week's word is "pancakes". boss: Hey benlau, I approved your raise. me: Pancakes! posted by ben | 3:26 PM | (0) comments Thursday, November 13, 2003 A Clue For You All < geek > If you've got an Airport card in your computer (mine's built into my PowerBook G4) and a Netgear MR814v2 Wireless Router, here's how you get them to talk to each other: Put a dollar sign ($) before the password. That should do it. Is this in any of the literature? No. Is this in any bbs or newsgroups regarding these products? No. Will Apple or Netgear tell you this information when you call them? No. Is this information you can get as on off-handed comment from the obnoxious counter guy at the computer store as you're walking out? Yes. < /geek > posted by ben | 12:03 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, November 11, 2003 Why Didn't I Think Of That First Check out this Fark photoshop forum. My favorite: "The Wookie" posted by ben | 10:20 PM | (0) comments Monday, November 10, 2003 Question For The Ages Before the new BMW Mini Cooper came along, what sort of cars did companies give away for promotions? posted by ben | 4:15 PM | (0) comments The New Math It's an interesting culture we've developed for ourselves wherein one can be socially slighted by having their website removed from a list of "favorite links". posted by ben | 9:26 AM | (0) comments Saturday, November 08, 2003 Canada My Home Rumors circulate around Congress that the Bush Administration is considering reinstituting the draft for military service in Iraq. posted by ben | 11:14 AM | (0) comments Friday, November 07, 2003 Let's see, which movie am I going to avoid more? Jessica Lynch or Elizabeth Smart? posted by ben | 12:43 PM | (0) comments Lesson Learned, #243 Dropping a fun-size Hershey chocolate bar into your morning coffee does not a mocha make. posted by ben | 11:46 AM | (0) comments Thursday, November 06, 2003 My Window'd Office Doth Make Me An Airplane Geek she: You didn't come visit me today. me: That's because when I visited you yesterday, I missed the Concorde landing. posted by ben | 4:25 PM | (0) comments From a story on infra-red technology locating ancient Incan cities: He said the use for the first time of an infrared camera to locate a set of ruins from the air had been a breakthrough, but one that did not make the humble machete redundant. "It makes wielding the machete slightly more purposeful -- at least you know where you are going and that there is something definitely in front of you -- but it certainly won't put it out of business," Thomson said. This message brought to you by the National Machete Foundation. posted by ben | 3:16 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, November 04, 2003 Absinthe makes the heart grow fondue. posted by ben | 3:03 PM | (0) comments Post Apocalyptic Exiting the post office in the International District, a man walks up behind me and starts speaking. I don't quite understand what he's saying, and grip the change rattling in my pocket to silence it. I then figure out he's speaking backwards, with proper backward-speak inflection and everything. "Ees yee Ess yap Stok." I chalk it up to Crazy Man syndrome, then I hear: "One day a man speaks from behind me, the next day I discover I have eyes in the back of my head. And I ask you: Which is it?" posted by ben | 1:23 PM | (0) comments Monday, November 03, 2003 Between the Lines A local pizza company has on their menu their phone number: 555-DOME The funny thing is, it's not even called "Dome Pizza". posted by ben | 1:08 PM | (0) comments Saturday, November 01, 2003 Cat Got Your Criminal Police throw suspect's cat as a distraction so they could arrest him. Is this really the best use of the cat's time? posted by ben | 2:28 PM | (0) comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
||||
|
|||||