Everything's Funny To Someone.
|
|
| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
|
|
Monday, October 27, 2003 Rock, Paper, What the Hell? Canadian man wins international Rock, Paper, Scissors competition. No word yet on the outcome of Ink-A-Bink-A-Bottle-Of-Ink. posted by ben | 11:25 AM | (0) comments Friday, October 24, 2003 See Spot Run There's a mystery spot on Jupiter, baffling scientists and prompting Arthur C. Clarke to shout "I told you so!" posted by ben | 1:45 PM | (0) comments Thursday, October 23, 2003 Electric Man! When I dealt with a particularly frustrating situation here at work, I noticed my arm hair reacting to my cotton-wool sweatshirt. I make my own electricity. Don't touch me when I'm angry. Hulk shock! posted by ben | 1:03 PM | (0) comments Monday, October 20, 2003 Bib Marquee Whenever I wear the shirt I bought from this guy, I always end up spilling something on it. Thing is, I'm not normally a messy person. I'm neat. I'm tidy. But when I wear the punk kittens, I'm a slob. Explain that. posted by ben | 1:13 PM | (0) comments Friday, October 17, 2003 Different Than You I think I'm the only one I know who likes the Christmas season. Everyone loves saying how much they hate it, like enjoying Christmas becomes passe once you become a teenager. I love it. We were discussing Christmas recently at work and I just got this big ass grin on my face, thinking of the upcoming walks through snow covered streets, bathing in the glow of a million tiny multi-colored lights. Or coming in from a bitter wind to a warmly lit house, knowing there's a cup of hot chocolate and juicy turkey waiting for you. Or looking out at the street as the first flakes of the season sprinkle down upon the lawn. I'm so giddy I can't contain myself. Bah humbug to not liking Christmas. posted by ben | 11:31 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, October 14, 2003 Brains Are Funny, part 2 I do a lot of coding. I mean, a lot of coding. I could tell you the codes for an employee charging a meal to his credit card in town as opposed to a meal out of state, or in a different country. I can rattle off the account, department, activity, project, resource, location, sub location, and budget codes in an almost Zen-like state. People look at me strange at work when I show off this particular party trick. Then they feel sorry for me. I feel sorry for me too. So I'm coding my supervisor's credit card charges, and I know that the activity code for a taxi in New York is 978873. I get distracted briefly and instead of thinking 978873 so my fingers will type it, the numbers 988737 scroll through my head. My fingers, however, override this command and type the correct code: 978873. Like I said, Zen.* *I know that Zen encompasses a particular state of being and cannot be attained purely by me memorizing numbers, nor have I even begun to scratch the surface of what it truely means to accomplish zen meditation and that understanding it is above and beyond my comprehension. I just thought it made this piece funny. posted by ben | 4:06 PM | (0) comments Monday, October 13, 2003 boss: We can't lend that piece to the museum. Mr. Founder gave it to his nephew for his birthday last year. me: Did his nephew sign a title transfer release contract? boss: Haha. me: I'm serious. posted by ben | 4:41 PM | (0) comments A Rare Two-Parter I get the feeling that the super cool radio stations I listen to online are stalking me because they know I skip the "Pledge Now" page. Hey guys, I'll pledge, I promise. The purse strings are a bit tight right now, though, so I don't know when I'll be able to. Please call off your goons. -and- me: Meeting's been rescheduled to 2pm, as boss needs to be gone by three. co-worker: What's he doing? me: That's priviledged information, and if I tell you, I'd have to let you know. co-worker: Oh, okay. So don't tell me then. posted by ben | 9:41 AM | (0) comments Sunday, October 12, 2003 Techno-Gripe Websites that won't allow you to hit the "Back" button. posted by ben | 10:07 PM | (0) comments Friday, October 10, 2003 I'm Right Here I just received a spam message titled "Where are you sexy?" My response: "My left big toe." posted by ben | 11:14 AM | (0) comments Thursday, October 09, 2003 Nope. Just Me I'm in bed. I turn the TV off after the top 10 list, check my alarm to make sure it's on, then reach up for the light switch. A pause. "Note to self, light is already off." posted by ben | 9:54 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, October 07, 2003 Elevator Etiquette, part 127(c) Listen, I know you're trying to be nice, but if you're standing in front of me in the elevator, you should really be the first one out when the doors open. Otherwise, it's just awkward for the both of us. posted by ben | 11:58 AM | (0) comments Monday, October 06, 2003 Ahem... A Dave Barry alert reader offers up an opinion on lefties, saying she thinks "left handed men are dead on SEXY". This blog is left handed too. posted by ben | 4:29 PM | (0) comments Friday, October 03, 2003 The New Establishment The payroll lady just called me "Mr. Rock-n-Roll" in the elevator. I have arrived. posted by ben | 10:32 AM | (0) comments The New Project I found an awesome site last night that had mp3s of every single variation of the "Three's Company" theme song. This gave me an idea to just put together a CDs worth of TV themes I recall fondly from my childhood using mp3s freely available on-line. Can't wait. posted by ben | 10:25 AM | (0) comments And coming in at number two: Ezra I had heard complaining all my life. I found I could go on writing and that it was no worse than other noises, certainly better than Ezra learning to play the bassoon. -Ernest Hemmingway in "A Moveable Feast" referring to his friend Ezra Pound. posted by ben | 12:29 AM | (0) comments Thursday, October 02, 2003 From ABC News: "[North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il] has reportedly said that if he didn't become his nation's leader, he would have been a film producer." Yeah man. I wanna live in that reality. posted by ben | 2:31 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, October 01, 2003 From the Nature Is Wrong dept. me: The cat's really excited around me because I'm the only one who gives it milk. co-worker: You shouldn't do that. Cats and dogs are lactose intolerant. me: Then why is he so anxious for a bowl of milk? co-worker: You'd like ice cream too if you could never have it. me: Yeah, but I think the desire would quell if ice cream gave me severe intestinal pain. posted by ben | 4:00 PM | (0) comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
||||
|
|||||