Everything's Funny To Someone.
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| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
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Friday, February 28, 2003 Overheard at Lunch: She 2: I have tickets to the Husky Women's basketball game on Saturday. Anybody wanna go? He: I wish I could, that sounds cool. I like Husky Women She 3: That's odd, cause most men don't. She 4: Oh, I finally threw that out. It wasn't potato salad after all, it was left over chicken soup. She 1: Never tell me you think someone's cute. She 2: Man, I paid for that one. [pause] Me: So what's the story there? She 3: Thanks, I was waiting for someone to ask. posted by ben | 4:24 PM | (0) comments Today in Lexington, VA, a kitten was declared, "the cutest kitten in the world" by the city council. Upon hearing the news, President Bush called the kitten "just another evil deceit by Saddam Hussein to mislead the inspectors" and reaffirmed his position to disarm Iraq. posted by ben | 10:01 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, February 26, 2003 Here's a clue for you all: If you've got a bit of a cough, don't sit through a PBS special on biotoxins. You won't get any sleep that night. posted by ben | 11:34 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, February 25, 2003 Snow friend of mine A rare snowstorm blanketed the middle east earlier this week, causing a brief respite in the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians which has already resulted in over 3,000 deaths. Upon hearing the news, President Bush called the snowstorm "just another evil deceit by Saddam Hussein to mislead the inspectors" and reaffirmed his position to disarm Iraq. posted by ben | 11:24 AM | (0) comments From the Handbook of Rock Bands dept. Should your rock band consist of x females and one dude, he will play drums. Conversely, if your rock band consists of x males and one chick, she'll play bass. posted by ben | 10:39 AM | (0) comments Friday, February 21, 2003 I'm terrible at goodbyes. Come to think of it, I'm not that good with hellos, either. posted by ben | 3:55 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, February 19, 2003 "I'm learning Something on my ukulele." "What?" "Something." "What thing?" "No. I'm learning to play Something on my uke." "I know. What song are you learning to play?" "I just told you." "No you didn't. You just said you were learning something." "That's what I'm learning." "What are you learning?" "Something." "Gah!" posted by ben | 12:22 PM | (0) comments Monday, February 17, 2003 It's funny, but now when I get a tickle in my throat, and someone around me starts coughing, I don't think oh no, a cold. I think oh no, a biotoxin. posted by ben | 3:15 PM | (0) comments Friday, February 14, 2003 Coffee Week, parts 4 & 5 The coffee drawer at work contains three separate items: filters, scissors, and bags of coffee grounds. To make coffee, you put a filter in the removable cone, use the scissors to cut open a bag of coffee, dump it in, restore the cone, and hit "GO". You get about one pumper's worth of coffee. Seemingly foolproof, yet I still somehow manage to mess it up. posted by ben | 10:59 AM | (0) comments Thursday, February 13, 2003 Another product name that makes me giggle: Cheese Nips posted by ben | 12:10 PM | (0) comments Coffee Week, part 3 When coffee gets cold, it gets disgusting. Yet iced coffee, for some reason, tastes good. Explain that. posted by ben | 9:00 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, February 12, 2003 Coffee Week, part 2 I hate to see any bit of mass market coffee in my cup go to waste, so at the end of a grande vanilla when the last few ounces of latte have given up entirely and are just sitting there waiting to die, I need to make an important decision: Dump out the remaining dregs of my $4 cup o' joe and write off what is essentially two bits worth, or close my eyes and take it like a man? posted by ben | 10:06 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, February 11, 2003 Coffee Week, part 1 When I moved to Seattle, I started drinking coffee pretty regularly. This wasn't so much an infusion of culture as it was a defense mechanism. People on the streets don't bother you so much if they know you have a cup of scalding liquid at your side. posted by ben | 9:39 AM | (0) comments Friday, February 07, 2003 I originally wrote something political, but I was bumming myself out. So I've decided to not write about Iraq or North Korea or Bush or Saddam or Kim Jong-il or Orange Alert or Terrorists or Osama or Middle East or Oil or Cheney or Nukes or UN or hitting Ctrl+Alt+Del on the world. Instead, I'm going to write about puppies and kitties and things that go bump in the night but that's okay because you're still dreaming anyway. posted by ben | 7:28 PM | (0) comments The only thing better than finding cash in a jacket you haven't worn in awhile is putting on your coat and finding candy. posted by ben | 9:13 AM | (0) comments Monday, February 03, 2003 me: We had a Newfie once. We found him at the...um...the a...uh...the place...with the pets...that are used... friend B: A shelter? me: Sure, yeah. Shelter. Later... friend A: I like them alright, I guess. They don't recycle well, but they're good guys. me: POUND! friend A: Hm? me: Oh, uh...that's the word I was trying to think of earlier. Pound. The place with the used pets. posted by ben | 9:01 AM | (0) comments |
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