Everything's Funny To Someone.
|
|
| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
|
|
Thursday, October 31, 2002 From the Someone Has To Have Thought Of This By Now dept. A race between Doritos, Cheetohs, and Pringles. Cheetohs, of course, come in last. Because Cheetohs never win. posted by ben | 3:47 PM | (0) comments Too. Much. Candy. posted by ben | 11:46 AM | (0) comments Standing around before rehearsal yesterday, Gilly mentions that today is her brother's birthday. "Hey," I say, "today's my mom's birthday too." Pause. Realization. "Crap, today's my mom's birthday! I'll be back in a sec, I gotta make a phone call." posted by ben | 11:29 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, October 29, 2002 Men in suits looking at things. Sitting at my desk, watching men in suits walking around looking at everything. posted by ben | 4:17 PM | (0) comments Monday, October 28, 2002 Lesson Learned, part 7 If you're going to remove your full-face motorcycle helmet, be sure to take your sunglasses off first. posted by ben | 10:13 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, October 23, 2002 I think the gals in the office use the word "freezing" a little too liberally. posted by ben | 12:41 PM | (0) comments There are those who are really chipper and awake and well-groomed in the morning. And then there's me. posted by ben | 8:42 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, October 22, 2002 I bought this new CD by an english band called Elbow. I thought it was going to be Morphine meets Monty Python. Instead it's Dave Matthews meets All Creatures Great and Small. I feel cheated. posted by ben | 11:40 AM | (0) comments Friday, October 18, 2002 This is another favorite: Walk up to a co-worker and say, "I wish it were Friday." When they give you a strange look, like you're not all there, and tell you "it is Friday," raise your arms above your head and yell, "Woo-hoo! I got my wish!" posted by ben | 1:05 PM | (0) comments Candy Corn! It must be Halloween season. posted by ben | 12:43 PM | (0) comments Just once I want to hear the president of a company say during a board meeting, "That's my name, don't wear it out!" posted by ben | 8:27 AM | (0) comments Thursday, October 17, 2002 There's part of me that wants to believe I'm hypo-glycemic just to excuse my constant need for sugar. But maybe that's just because I only recently learned what "hypo-glycemic" means. posted by ben | 10:47 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, October 16, 2002 Timber giant Weyerhaeuser harvests its corporate staff, saying that a thinner, more streamlined workforce is more productive and has less of a chance of being completely destroyed by fire. In a related story, the earnings of airplane manufacturer Boeing plummet to the ground in a fiery ball of flame. posted by ben | 2:54 PM | (0) comments Monday, October 14, 2002 I've been smelling bacon all day. posted by ben | 1:30 PM | (0) comments Friday, October 11, 2002 There was a mosquito in my car when I got to work this morning. My first thought: West Nile. Perhaps I should do something about that dead crow in my backseat. posted by ben | 9:47 AM | (0) comments Thursday, October 10, 2002 Someone out there is having too much fun with their Ben voodoo doll. posted by ben | 4:50 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, October 09, 2002 From the Who Died And Made You God? dept. Man denied name change to "God". So instead he changed his name to "I Am Who I Am". Or, "Who I Am, I Am" if listed last name-first. You gotta think pretty highly of yourself if you want to re-christen (ha!) yourself as "God". He says that the Vietnam war soiled his mind and soul, causing him anxiety and rage. Perhaps he outta take a cue from Raymond Leopard and sue the Vietnamese. posted by ben | 4:30 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, October 08, 2002 From the It's Now A Trend dept. Raymond Leopard, who was the "Winston Man" model in cigarette ads from 1978 to 1980, filed a federal lawsuit in April demanding $65 million from R.J. Reynolds because of the stress and remorse he suffered in creating smoking-related illnesses in people who were influenced by his ads. "Millions of people died because of me. Think of their mothers, their fathers, their uncles that have suffered," Leopard said. Unfortunately for Leopard, Arkansas law prohibits the recovery of damages for personal injuries suffered by others. posted by ben | 1:17 PM | (0) comments Had an insane moment of deja vu in Bouchee on Saturday. Okay, so I've eaten there before, and ordered the same thing before, but this was different. I couldn't quite explain it. What bothered me, however, was that no matter how much I concentrated, (will the waitress ask me if everything's alright will there be a crashing sound from the kitchen will there be a huge flash of light from outside followed by debris), I couldn't figure out how it would end. I hoped it ended with Jean-Pierre Jeunet releasing Delicatessen on DVD. posted by ben | 9:38 AM | (0) comments Friday, October 04, 2002 No matter how many people claim to like Hershey Special Dark, they're always the last ones left in the candy bowl. posted by ben | 2:14 PM | (0) comments A former smoker wins a $28 Billion verdict from Philip Morris Inc. That's enough to buy two, maybe three more cartons. posted by ben | 1:13 PM | (0) comments Thursday, October 03, 2002 Why should you care which websites I frequent? posted by ben | 11:43 AM | (0) comments Whoever reads the paper in the men's room has taken to hanging it on the assistance bar next to the toilet, so that it now appears to be drying off. Now I'm definitely not touching. posted by ben | 9:03 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, October 02, 2002 Have You Seen This Cow? Walking to work this morning, I glanced at a Post Office truck and saw that they had written Lost Cow on the side. Since it was the pre-coffee hour, it took me a while to realize that that was sort of unusual. I looked again, and saw that what my brain had interpreted as Lost Cow was actually the phrase Low Cost. Brains are crazy. posted by ben | 9:35 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, October 01, 2002 I love the smell of new carpet and fresh paint. However, I despise being involved with the installation of either one. posted by ben | 11:30 AM | (0) comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
||||
|
|||||