Everything's Funny To Someone.
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| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
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Monday, September 30, 2002 I saw a Vespa get hauled away by a tow-truck during my lunch break today. I felt the pain. It's like watching your kid at a playground, and your friend's kid breaks his arm. You're sorry it happened, but really glad it didn't happen to yours. posted by ben | 2:03 PM | (0) comments Friday, September 27, 2002 From the One Idiot Ruining It For The Rest Of Us dept. A couple months ago I talked about the cop who cheated on his Sargeant's exam. Today, more is revealed in the Seattle Times: According to the sources, examiners were tipped to the scheme when the patrolman gave his answers to the examination board as if he were reciting from memory, scoring a near-perfect score with responses that matched the answer key nearly word for word. Obviously, this is the first time that this patrolman has ever cheated in his life. As more seasoned cheaters know, you can't answer essay questions verbatim, and should at least flub it a little to keep the testing administrators off track. Remember, teachers know about Cliff's Notes too. posted by ben | 1:46 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, September 25, 2002 I think it's nicely ironic that Shakespeare wrote, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Here is a guy whose plays are longer and more wordy than any other I've encountered. posted by ben | 12:47 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, September 24, 2002 Some of the bigger coffee houses around town have some tasty drinks, I just wish they wouldn't give them such silly names. It's hard to pretend I'm a sophisticated man of today when I walk into a coffee shop and order a tall swirkle. posted by ben | 2:13 PM | (0) comments Friday, September 20, 2002 From the Gimme Back My Camera dept. Washington State Supreme Court rules it is legal to videotape up women's skirts in public areas. I went to the Supreme Court site to see if they were all male judges, but was surprised to see that it's a 5-4 male-female split. Go figure. posted by ben | 12:05 PM | (0) comments Thursday, September 19, 2002 There are those who read papers in the stalls, then leave them in there. It's probably not so much a slovenly bad habit as it is an effort to be generous with the paper and let others read it as well. Uh. No. Take your paper home and burn it. I'm not touching. posted by ben | 1:57 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, September 18, 2002 Remember when everybody thought India and Pakistan were going to nuke each other off the map? You don't hear too much about that anymore, do you? I knew it was a fad all along. posted by ben | 11:32 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, September 17, 2002 You always see headlines like this where the victim was this wonderful cheery person who loved everything. Just once I want to see the headline, "Man who hated life killed in freak accident". posted by ben | 2:22 PM | (0) comments Monday, September 16, 2002 There's too much clip art in the world. posted by ben | 3:56 PM | (0) comments Thursday, September 12, 2002 There's a Political Action Committee designed to garner legislative support for hotels. I like this. I'm waiting to see the sign: Please give the Hotel Lobby Meeting room in the hotel lobby meeting room. posted by ben | 10:08 AM | (0) comments Monday, September 09, 2002 When you grocery shop and either have to walk the groceries five blocks home past dozens of homeless panhandlers, or have to squeeze everything you bought into your backpack and under the seat of your scooter, you buy less things than, say, when you know you have a car waiting in the parking lot. You still have to walk past a dozen panhandlers to get to your car, though. posted by ben | 9:11 AM | (0) comments Friday, September 06, 2002 Try convincing an environmentalist that the tree was already dead by the time I needed to make my copies. It's fun. posted by ben | 2:25 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, September 04, 2002 Why English is confusing: Resign and re-sign are complete opposites. posted by ben | 11:27 AM | (0) comments Overheard, part 2 At the downtown DOL, a caucasian woman in which time has not been nice to, walking out: "Goddamn Catholics! Goddamn God people taking other people's Goddamn money." posted by ben | 9:29 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, September 03, 2002 I now own the only make/model/year of car that has been specifically mentioned on The Simpsons (allegedly, just read it on the web, so I don't know if it's actually true). Points to you if you can name the car. No points if I've already told you (you know who you are). posted by ben | 3:56 PM | (0) comments |
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