Everything's Funny To Someone.
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| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
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Friday, June 28, 2002 I had CPR/AED training yesterday. I'm now quite confident that I can stabilize and save the life of any plastic mannequin torso suffering from cardiac arrest. posted by ben | 10:34 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, June 26, 2002 The secret to getting a song out of your head is to just let it play through. Then you'll be humming the song that comes right after the previous one on the mix tape. posted by ben | 4:05 PM | (0) comments Someone referred to my doughnut as a fat pill today. posted by ben | 10:47 AM | (0) comments Monday, June 24, 2002 One of Hotmail's slogans is "Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail." Why would I want to join the "world's largest" service? That just decreases my chances of getting the login name I want. posted by ben | 5:10 PM | (0) comments Tired of being overshadowed by Colorado’s 136,000 acre fire, the 200,000 acre Rodeo fire of Arizona and the 50,000 acre Chideski fire, also of Arizona, have merged creating a massive 250,000 acre wildfire with a 50 mile fireline. Colorado is reportedly planning on filing an anti-trust lawsuit on its fire's behalf against Arizona. The FTC is scheduled to approve the merger later this month. posted by ben | 3:46 PM | (0) comments Friday, June 21, 2002 So Germany eliminated the U.S. team in the World Cup quarterfinals. Now everyone can go back to ignoring soccer. posted by ben | 12:54 PM | (0) comments From the This Bad Day Just Got Worse dept. Inmate is eaten by crocodile as he escapes jail. posted by ben | 12:49 PM | (0) comments Thursday, June 20, 2002 Opening next Friday from Columbia Pictures: Adam Sandler is "Adam Sandler" in Another Adam Sandler Movie. At a Theater Near You (tm). posted by ben | 9:54 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, June 19, 2002 Will power is watching an ornery old lady walk into a glass wall and not laughing. posted by ben | 1:31 PM | (0) comments Annoyances: 1) People who keep talking to you as you're trying to leave the room. 2) People who leave the room when you're trying to talk to them. posted by ben | 1:08 PM | (0) comments Names throughout history that make me giggle: Waterloo Honore de Balzac Peter O’Toole Winnie the Pooh posted by ben | 12:03 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, June 18, 2002 In Minnesota news; Governer Jesse Ventura taps out. Citing various reasons, but defending his decision as having nothing to do with Minnesota press stories about his 22 year-old son holding midnight parties at the Governer's Mansion, Governer Ventura -in reference to being a politician - added: "What your personal family life is, or your private life should be left private." Governer Jesse was later heard to have asked, "Monica who?" posted by ben | 4:10 PM | (0) comments Monday, June 17, 2002 From the How Did She Last 18 Years In That Job dept. A Forestry technician for the Colorado Forest Service admitted to starting the worst fire in Colorado’s history when she burned a letter from her estranged husband in a designated campfire ring - where fires normally would be allowed - which grew out of control after her failed attempt to suppress it. Now, I’m no Forestry technician, but I think it’s safe to say that I’d be able to handle a piece of paper burning in a fire pit. posted by ben | 4:54 PM | (0) comments All the Seattle TV news stations claim to be the most current, reliable, trustworthy news outlets in the Northwest. I can't believe any of them. Not because I'm a cynical bastard and believe broadcast journalism is nothing more than models reading headlines (when was the last time you saw an unattractive reporter?). What always gets me is that the backdrop of the news studios always show the Seattle skyline during a bright, sunshiney day. I mean, come on! Put some realistic photo back there. One that's washed out with low grey clouds and rain showers. They're living in a dream world. posted by ben | 10:06 AM | (0) comments Friday was Flag Day, or as it's known in the U.S.: Everyday posted by ben | 10:00 AM | (0) comments Friday, June 14, 2002 Monday’s temp is full of caffeine, Tuesday’s temp has yet to be seen, Wednesday’s temp has tried to file, Thursday’s temp smells pretty vile, Friday’s temp steals an office pen, Saturday’s temp sleeps in ‘till ten, But a temp that works on the Sabbath day, Is surprised to get no overtime pay. posted by ben | 4:39 PM | (0) comments I took an MS Project course and would always finish the exercises before everyone else in the class. Instead of thinking I was good at it, I would get paranoid that I was missing something or doing it completely wrong. posted by ben | 3:44 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, June 12, 2002 Someone just traded me their chocolate chip cookie for my raisin cookie. And all is right with the world. posted by ben | 2:03 PM | (0) comments In the coffee room with E and K. E's loading the dishwasher. K asks, "You gonna start that?" I say, "don't be startin' nuthin." E replies, "I wanna be startin' somethin'." Short pause, then I ask the room, "we're all thinking about that same Michael Jackson song, aren't we?" E and K together say, "yup." posted by ben | 11:09 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, June 11, 2002 You sleep differently when you discover a spider in the laundry. One of those sneaky brown fast buggers. Was that just an itch? Or a poisonous arachnid preparing to sink its mandibles into my unsuspecting toe? posted by ben | 3:51 PM | (0) comments Monday, June 10, 2002 Tailgating the logic that "lb" was the abbreviation of pound, I always assumed that "LP" was the natural abbreviation of album. I think I was well into my twenties before I realized it stood for "long play". posted by ben | 11:43 AM | (0) comments I had a sociology professor back in 98 who used to brag about listening to online radio. At the time, I thought I hate this class as well as online radio will never catch on. Today, live uncompressed streaming online radio has become a .wav of life. posted by ben | 11:39 AM | (0) comments Today's date feels like it should have some significance, but I can't figure it out. Is it someone's birthday? An anniversary? A holiday? No, if I'm at work, it better not be a holiday. posted by ben | 11:21 AM | (0) comments Friday, June 07, 2002 I just had the phrase "anti-first person narrative" stuck in my head. Help me figure out where this is from. posted by ben | 5:21 PM | (0) comments Another cheap plug: Come see me in 12 Minutes Max. Okay, I'm done. posted by ben | 4:44 PM | (0) comments Recently watched an episode of Winnie the Pooh, and was reminded of Eeyore's alarmingly low self-esteem. I blame Tigger. posted by ben | 4:24 PM | (0) comments I wouldn't trust a baseball further than I could throw it. posted by ben | 8:24 AM | (0) comments Thursday, June 06, 2002 I saw a two inch binder clip here at the office and I just had to play with it. It's an obsession. posted by ben | 2:31 PM | (0) comments So now they're telling us that it's not Brontosaurus but Apatosaurus. What the-? You, you can't do that. It's like your friend Jimmy suddenly wanting you to call him James. Sorry, Jimmy. Ain't gonna happen. posted by ben | 9:25 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, June 05, 2002 I've made an effort to eat healthier (water instead of soda and strawberry pop-tarts instead of chocolate and marshmallow ones), but I've noticed that on days I "slip" are usually days I have my Pilates sessions. Go me. posted by ben | 4:06 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, June 04, 2002 A Roman Catholic Bishop committee released a recommendation that any priest who molests a minor be defrocked. However, the panel recommended that in cases where only one minor was molested, the priest be able to continue practicing in the ministry. So, remember father, you only get one now. posted by ben | 4:52 PM | (0) comments A 24 year old man plans to swim the length of the Columbia River to raise awareness of its pollution levels. Huh? You don't raise awareness of gun violence by shooting yourself, do you? posted by ben | 4:50 PM | (0) comments |
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