Everything's Funny To Someone.
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| Write That Down Everything's Funny To Someone. |
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Wednesday, January 30, 2002 The thing about eating egg salad for lunch is that the taste never really goes away. posted by ben | 2:39 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, January 29, 2002 Office geekyness: Testing the limits of Excel. (Answer: row 65536, column IV) posted by ben | 4:47 PM | (0) comments Friday, January 25, 2002 Scientific American reported recently that television is addictive. In the same issue they found that kittens, on average, are cute, and that cookies taste good. posted by ben | 4:34 PM | (0) comments I called this "Write That Down" in an attempt to force myself to remember to write down the funny sh-...stuff I think of, hear, or steal. Not so. Maybe I'll rename this site "Can't remember jack." posted by ben | 4:25 PM | (0) comments Monday, January 21, 2002 In the Democratic Republic of Congo, lava flowes from the erupting Mt. Nyirangongo reached a petrol station, causing it to explode. 35-100 people were killed in this explosion while attempting to steal the petrol. A of all, see the sign that says "no smoking"? Same rule applies to lava. Hot molten lava - which doesn't move that fast, if I remember correctly. If a wall of fire and rock is coming down the street at 20, maybe 30 miles an hour, if that, don't stop at the freakin' gas station to loot some petrol, hear? B of all, 100 people? How big was this gas station that it took the lives (allegedly, depending on what you read) of 100 people? Were people just hanging around? posted by ben | 4:58 PM | (0) comments A phrase I'm waiting to use: "That dog is so ugly you have to hang a pacifier around its neck so the baby will play with it." posted by ben | 11:32 AM | (0) comments Thursday, January 17, 2002 Truth in Advertising, part 1. Neon sign in a window of a coffee shop downtown: Caffeine! posted by ben | 9:06 AM | (0) comments Wednesday, January 16, 2002 Q: Why does this page take so long to download? A: To get to the other side. (I didn't go with my first one, which was Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because this page takes so long to download.) posted by ben | 2:45 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, January 15, 2002 Overheard in Starbucks this morning: "Excuse me. I've waited so long for my drink I've forgotten what I ordered." posted by ben | 10:50 AM | (0) comments Monday, January 14, 2002 From News of the Weird: "Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen announced that any karaoke bars remaining open in the country would be destroyed by military tanks." You thought Pol Pot was tough... posted by ben | 11:52 AM | (0) comments The more outrageous a joke is, the more people lose their balance while laughing. posted by ben | 9:32 AM | (0) comments Thursday, January 10, 2002 Past tense of "to know" is "knew". Past perfect tense: "known". If someone you knew said "knowed", you think they didn't know anything. Had never known proper English to begin with. So why is the past tense of "to snow" snowed? Might as well spell it "snode". "It snode yesterday." I'm sorry, what? Do you have a cold? Let's change this, shall we? From now on, if you wake up one morning and school is cancelled, and all your friends are building snowmen, then it probably snew last night. Frankly, it has never snown like that before! posted by ben | 10:51 AM | (0) comments Monday, January 07, 2002 Recently: Her: How old are you anyway? Me: 25 Her: Oh, you're just a puppy. Me: Yeah, so don't frighten me or I'll pee. posted by ben | 11:53 AM | (0) comments Friday, January 04, 2002 One co-worker to another late in the evening in the office: "At least I have an excuse for staying late, I've got a wife and kids." posted by ben | 8:09 PM | (0) comments Wednesday, January 02, 2002 This is all I got today: The story of a veterinarian (or, if you want to get more realistic, an Animal Psychologist) who tests the intelligence of his own children by throwing a towel over their heads. The quicker they get out from under the towel, the smarter they are. posted by ben | 5:40 PM | (0) comments |
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