Everything's Funny To Someone.
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Friday, April 22, 2005 I Was Told There Would Be No Math Best quote left on my voice mail ever: "I did too much math today, sorry I'm rambling." posted by ben | 11:05 AM | (0) comments Tuesday, April 12, 2005 Color Me Shocked Britney Spears announces she's got a bun in the easy-bake oven. In a related story: Paris Hilton releases new sex tape over internet to steal back the headlines. posted by ben | 4:51 PM | (0) comments Rawr! I'm hardly the biggest geek I know, but I'm excited for Tiger's release in a couple weeks. It's not like I understand - or will even use - everything that comes with it, but it does mean I can finally get that Production Suite I've been lusting after. Deeper into debt, here I come! posted by ben | 4:39 PM | (0) comments Where'd The Clock Go? I think I need one of these. posted by ben | 3:26 PM | (0) comments Tuesday, April 05, 2005 I Am Not An IP Address, I Am A Free Man! I still have the naive notion that wherever I go on the internet, I'm still just an anonymous clicker, one of thousands, or millions, loading this page or that. But when a page has an Amazon.com ad on it, with a little box saying "Hello, Ben. Is this site worth a few bucks?" I can't help but feel like my anonymity is now and forever gone, and a little guilty too. Yes, it's worth a few bucks, but I gotta buy lunch tomorrow, so... posted by ben | 9:31 PM | (0) comments Monday, April 04, 2005 Real Phone Service me: Major Company Subdivision whose phones I'm covering while they're all in a meeting because their boss was ushered out of the office by an HR representative yesterday afternoon, this is Ben. lady: Hi. Give me the number Major Food Grower. me: I'm afraid I can't do that, I'll need to send you to- lady: Yes you can. This is Phyllis from Who Cares Where. me: Oh, I'm sorry. It's not that I'm not allowed to give you that number, it's that I don't have access to that information- lady: Yes you do. I just need the number for Major Food Grower. me: Uhm. Hold one moment, please. lady: Why do you need to put me on hold? Just give me their number. me: Ma'am, of our hundreds of vendors, I don't have that particular one right in front of me. lady: Why don't- me: Shocking, I know, lady: -you just give- me: -and the reason I need to put you on hold is so you won't hear me call you naughty body part names while I try to locate this number you want. lady: Why, I- me: And chances are I won't have this number anyway because I'm a temp, and I just have minimum network access that just barely allows me to do my job properly, so what's going to happen is that I'm going to look for them online, and if that doesn't work, I'm going to pick up a phone book. lady: Phone book? me: Yeah, you remember those? Large yellow paper books with little itty bitty tiny names and numbers in them. Some of them even have pictures. You remember those, right? lady: I'm- me: And the reason I'm doing all of this is because, technically, you're a customer, and I'm sitting at this desk because you guys will occasionally call. And although you as a customer may not always be right, you are still a "customer". lady: What are you- me: And that's why I'm going to put you on hold, even though you could probably pick up a phone book just as easily and find the number yourself. lady: Don't worry. I'll find it elsewhere. me: You sure? lady: Yes. me: Okay. Thank you, and have a nice day. posted by ben | 8:50 AM | (0) comments |
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